Navigating Life After an Adult ADHD Diagnosis
Living with Intention
Hi, I’m Jaya. I’m the founder of Mindful Wild Steps, a holistic outdoor learning program in Tasmania, and someone who’s deeply passionate about connecting with nature, fostering community, and living a life that’s grounded in holistic health. My path hasn’t always been straightforward, but it’s shaped who I am today—a mother, a business owner, a student, and a lifelong learner dedicated to nurturing both myself and those around me.
Navigating Life with ADHD and Mental Health
It wasn’t until adulthood that I discovered I have ADHD. For years, I struggled with feelings of not fitting in, with the constant pressure of trying to keep up in a world that felt overwhelming and fast-paced.
I was initially diagnosed with anxiety and depression, but deep down, I knew there was something more. Like many women, I was misdiagnosed, and it took time to uncover the full picture.
Finding out I have ADHD was a turning point—it brought a mix of relief and challenges.
Suddenly, so much of my past made sense—the struggles in school, difficulties in maintaining friendships, and challenges in work. But with that understanding came a wave of emotions, especially guilt. I couldn’t help but wonder: What if I had known sooner? How might my relationships have been different? Would I have been more successful in my studies or career? ADHD touches every part of your life, and realising that brought a lot of weight on my shoulders.
The Reality of ADHD in Adult Women
ADHD in women (and most people with ADHD) often looks different from the stereotypical image of a hyperactive child. For many of us, it’s less about bouncing off the walls and more about feeling overwhelmed, struggling with social anxiety, or experiencing emotional sensitivity.
Here are some signs of ADHD in adult women that might resonate with you, including what I personally experience:
My Experience with ADHD
Being Extremely Early: I stress about forgetting or being late, so I tend to be extremely early, which can throw off my whole day because I can’t focus on anything else until that event is over.
Masking: I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to hide my ADHD traits to fit in, which is exhausting.
Stimming: Nail biting, playing with my hair—these are small ways I try to cope with overwhelming situations.
Easily Overwhelmed: I can easily feel overwhelmed by too many tasks or stimuli, which can lead to shutdowns.
Hyperfixating: I can get intensely focused on one thing, often to the detriment of other tasks or responsibilities.
Mood Regulation Issues: Sometimes it feels like I can’t control my moods, especially when I’m overwhelmed.
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD): Emotional sensitivity is a big one—I can feel deeply affected by criticism or conflict.
Racing Thoughts: My brain often feels like it won’t switch off, with a million things going on at once.
Talking Fast: When I’m excited or passionate about something, I tend to talk very fast.
Specific Interests: I have particular interests that I can focus on intensely.
Sensory Issues: Certain sounds, textures, or environments can be overwhelming or irritating.
Restlessness: I often feel restless but simultaneously have low energy, which can be frustrating.
Social Anxiety: I frequently feel anxious in social situations, which makes interacting with others challenging.
Other Signs to Look For in Adult Women
Chronic Disorganisation: Some women struggle to keep track of tasks, deadlines, or belongings.
Difficulty Prioritising: It can be hard to determine what needs to be done first, leading to procrastination.
Perfectionism: Setting unrealistic standards for yourself, leading to burnout or avoidance.
Time Blindness: Losing track of time easily, whether it’s being extremely early or chronically late, and underestimating how long tasks will take.
Impulsivity: Making quick decisions without fully thinking them through, sometimes leading to regret.
Chronic Fatigue: Feeling tired all the time, which can stem from the mental effort of managing ADHD symptoms.
Relationship Struggles: Finding it challenging to maintain relationships due to miscommunications, emotional intensity, or the demands of ADHD.
These symptoms often go unnoticed or are misattributed to other conditions, like anxiety or depression, which is why so many women go undiagnosed for years. It’s a silent struggle that many of us have lived with for so long that it just feels like “the way we are.” But it doesn’t have to be this way.
My ADHD Diagnosis Journey and What to Do if You Think You Have ADHD
If you think you might have ADHD, the first step is to educate yourself. That’s what I did—I read as much as I could. I immersed myself in other people’s experiences, articles, studies—anything that could give me insight into what I was experiencing. The more I read, the more I realised how much I resonated with what I was learning.
I then made a list of everything that seemed relevant—things from my childhood, the ways I struggled, how I reacted to situations, and my current challenges. This list was incredibly helpful when it came time to talk to a healthcare professional.
I booked an appointment with my GP, who referred me to a specialist. Since this was during the height of COVID-19 in 2021, my diagnosis process happened via a Zoom chat. The diagnosis was quick—the specialist confirmed that I had ADHD, and suddenly, my entire life made sense.
Initially, I tried medication, but it didn’t feel right for me, so I explored alternative methods. I’ve found ways to cope with my ADHD without relying on medication, but I always encourage others to consider what’s right for them. A holistic approach, in my view, means considering all options, including modern medicine when needed.
If you think you might have ADHD, I recommend starting by educating yourself as much as possible. Make a list of your experiences and challenges, and then speak to your GP or a mental health professional. They can provide you with a referral to a specialist who can officially diagnose you. The diagnosis process might vary depending on where you live and your access to healthcare, but getting a proper diagnosis is an essential step in understanding and managing ADHD.
Coping Strategies
Living with ADHD comes with its challenges, but there are ways to manage symptoms and live more intentionally:
Use hyperfixation to your advantage. If you find something that captures your interest and know it’s going to consume a lot of your time, set yourself up for success first. Take care of basic needs like showering, eating, and doing any necessary tasks like cleaning or homeschooling before diving into your interest. This way, you can fully immerse yourself without interruptions, using hyperfixation as a reward.
Communicate with those around you. Let the people close to you know when you’re hyperfixating on something, so they understand you might be deeply focused for a while. This can help reduce unnecessary interruptions and manage expectations.
Acknowledge when you’re feeling overwhelmed and communicate that with others. For example, if certain triggers, like windy weather, make you anxious, let your partner or those close to you know. Sharing how you’re feeling can help others be more understanding and supportive.
Set reminders and alarms. Use alarms and reminders on your phone to help keep track of time and tasks, ensuring you don’t lose track of what needs to be done.
Try working in short bursts. Setting a timer for 15 minutes of cleaning or another task can make it feel more manageable. Put on some music, and see how much you can get done. Once the timer goes off, give yourself permission to stop, knowing you’ve accomplished something within that time frame.
Have a body double. Having someone nearby while you work on tasks can help keep you focused and motivated, whether it’s for cleaning, working, or organising.
These strategies are designed to help manage ADHD in a way that allows you to live your life with intention and purpose.
Relearning Life
Once I realised what I has was ADHD, I wanted to to rethink how I lived my life. I wanted to find a way that worked for me, rather than trying to fit into what worked for everyone else. That’s where holistic health became my anchor.
Holistic health, for me, is about more than just physical wellness—it’s about nurturing every part of who I am: body, mind, and spirit. Practices like mindfulness, yoga, aromatherapy, and herbalism aren’t just my hobbies; they’re essential parts of my daily life that help me stay grounded and connected. I’m also deeply drawn to green witchcraft, a nature-based spirituality that keeps me in tune with the earth and its cycles. This connection is something I carry into my daily life, especially in my garden.
Gardening has always been a big part of my life, but since moving to our current granny flat, I haven’t had the chance to set up a new garden yet.
However, creating the garden and space at Wild Steps during Term 3 has been incredibly beneficial for my mental health, and I’m in the process of setting up another garden here at the granny flat. I’ve always grown my own fruit, vegetables, and herbs—it’s something that grounds me and brings me joy.
Building a Life Rooted in Simplicity and Sustainability.
Part of living with intention is simplifying my life and focusing on sustainability. Right now, my family and I live in a granny flat, with my teenagers in a caravan. We’re saving to buy and build our own tiny home where we can all be in one space together. It can feel challenging at times, but it’s a step toward our ultimate goal. Every choice matters—how we use our space, what we bring into our lives, and how we interact with each other. It’s about making the most of what we have and focusing on what truly brings us joy.
Building community is another core part of my life. As someone who experiences anxiety, creating a supportive, nurturing community has been both a challenge and a blessing.
Through Mindful Wild Steps, I’ve found a way to bring people together—families who, like me, value nature, holistic living, and the importance of raising children who are connected to the earth. In our sessions, we explore, learn, and grow together, forming connections that are deep and enduring.
Writing, Storytelling and the Next Steps
Writing has always been a way for me to express myself, process my thoughts, and connect with others. My blog, A Mumma’s Wild Life, is where I document my thoughts on holistic living, share seasonal tips, offer homeschooling ideas, and reflect on motherhood. It’s a space where I can be honest and open, sharing what I’ve learned along the way and hopefully inspiring others who are on similar paths.
I’m also working on a book series called Hazel and Rusty’s Holistic Tales. This project is close to my heart—it’s a way for me to weave together my love of storytelling, nature, and holistic values into something that can be shared with others. Through these stories, I hope to pass on the lessons I’ve learned from the natural world, offering a sense of connection and wisdom that readers of all ages can appreciate.
Looking ahead, I’m also excited about starting a podcast. This is a new venture for me, and I’m eager to dive deeper into the topics I’m passionate about—mental health, holistic living, nature, and the journey toward becoming a counselor. It’s another way to connect with a wider community, sharing insights, stories, and perhaps even a bit of guidance along the way.
How This Can Help You
My hope in sharing this is that it might resonate with you in some way. Maybe you’ve been on a similar journey—navigating the challenges of ADHD, seeking balance in a world that often feels out of sync with who you are, or striving to build a community that reflects your values. If any of this speaks to you, know that you’re not alone. There’s power in understanding ourselves, in finding the tools and practices that support us, and in connecting with others who walk a similar path.
If you’re feeling lost, here are some resources that might help:
For ADHD Support: Consider reaching out to organisations like ADHD Australia or ADDitude Magazine, which offer a wealth of information and community support for those living with ADHD.
For Mental Health: Therapy can be a powerful tool. Look for local therapists who specialise in ADHD or holistic approaches to mental health. Online platforms like BetterHelp or Headspace can also be great resources.
For Holistic Health: Explore resources that align with your interests in holistic living. Websites like Mind Body Green or books on herbalism and mindfulness can provide practical tips and insights.
For Building Community: Finding or creating a community that supports your values can be transformative. Consider joining local groups focused on nature, holistic health, or parenting, or even starting your own group.
Living with Purpose and Intention
In everything I do, I aim to live with purpose and intention. Whether it’s through my business, my writing, or the community I’m building, my goal is always to create spaces where others feel empowered to be themselves and connect with the world around them. Life is a journey—one that’s full of twists and turns, growth and learning—and I’m grateful to be sharing it with you.
- Jaya Rose Fox
